Recently retired pastor Chris Lloyd reflects on what he’s learned
We started out as missionaries in 1994 and I retired on 1st January 2026 - not from God’s work, but as pastor of the local church and as regards French administration. Being retired is actually a more normal status to most French people than being a pastor!
What have I learnt, or rather am still learning? What am I convinced of after 30 years of ministry?
To begin with, God’s unchanging ambition for every one of His children. Whatever your life is or has been, God has an unwavering will to make you holy and to conform you to the likeness of His Son.
The human heart, or mine at least, resembles a Gordian knot of motivations, desires, ambitions, beliefs and attitudes. Perhaps at the beginning of our walk of faith, we believe that we’re more or less alright, we may trust our own judgement and think that our vision of the world is true and real. I don’t know the details of your life, but I do know that being a missionary has revealed the unsoundness of my heart. And by heart I do not mean my emotions, but beliefs, attitudes, thoughts and desires.
At the beginning of missionary work in Châteauroux I thought I knew what was in my heart, what was expected of me, and I was ambitious to see church growth. Thirty years later my heart is a mystery to me, even though God has used many different situations to confront my attitudes and beliefs and reveal what I am to myself.
God is completely given over to conforming us to being like Jesus. He’s patient in doing so. He may build up a situation over along period of time, using frustration, anxiety, pain and grief to show falsehood, unbelief and sin. He can transform in a very short period of time, and He can wait for a very long one, but all is oriented around making me like Christ.
I wouldn’t have naturally chosen to be a missionary. It’s too uncomfortable and has put me in situations I’d rather not have gone through. But it wasn’t my choice, and I’m not sure that I’d have grown down into Christ in the same way if I’d chosen a career more suited to my personality.
I like being appreciated for what I do and for who I am. When you work in a public role with people who are volunteers, each person has an opinion on what you should do and be. An unholy motivation needs to be transformed into a godly ambition – personal security in the gospel of redemption and knowing oneself loved completely by God, for whose glory we live.
After three years of Bible college, I thought I knew what success in missionary work looked like and was anxious to succeed. Two out of the four places I worked in seemed successful and two seemed to be failures. Conflict was present in each. Were my criteria for judging success correct?
I believe God accomplishes His will and He mysteriously weaves our lives into that will. What seems to us to be a catastrophic failure can in fact be the means for God to accomplish His plan, just as what seems a categoric success can be an expression of pride.
What does the future hold? For the next few months, we’ll spend time thinking and praying about how we might best be of service to God, either where we are or moving on to pastures new.
